In 2019, I wrote a blog post titled “Finding Love.” In this post I talked about barriers I placed in my own way to finding a love I could call my own. The post itself was me taking a step in the right direction. Kudos to me! Sometimes the hardest part of growing, is facing your own indiscretions, flaws, and thought processes that no longer serve you on your path in life. I am always telling people that you must do the internal work to be your best self before you expect someone to offer their best self to you.
Well sis, I did the work. My work included meditation, therapy, spiritual reconnection, and reassessing what I really wanted my life to look and feel like. I had to have my “man in the mirror” moments times ten. Society places so many life expectations on us all, and then there is comparison, ready and willing to sneak in and steal your joy. I turned 32 in 2019, and I was single with no children, pets, or a house plant. As an only child to an aging parent, I made it a priority to get additional help to care for my mother. I had to establish boundaries and give myself permission to live my own life.
After doing the work and giving myself permission to step out on faith and start a new chapter in life, I found myself taking my first travel nurse contract in Baltimore, MD.
In my mind, I was going to travel to as many states, and even countries working as a nurse and live my best life meeting new people and celebrating all that life had to offer. The biggest part of my journey was not worrying about timelines and societal checklists.
Not even 30 days later, I met the man that would change all of my plans. I hate to say it, but as cliché as the saying is, it was right. It all happened when I least expected it. September 17th, 2019 was the day I went on my last first date. When I met Rotimi, it was like all my fears never existed. Every brick from every wall I worked so hard to break down was now being used to build a path to a love that was just right for me. Every text, phone call, moment together, and embrace was different. I remember hearing a song on the radio one morning when he was taking me to work, titled Real One by Chanté Moore. It spoke to every single new and exciting feeling I felt.
I literally felt like I was in a dream and was glad that nothing would wake me up. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a life long lover of love. I was always telling people that I don’t know when or how love is going to happen for me, but when it does I’ll know because it’s going to require a special person to embrace all that I am. I also always said that when we meet, it won’t take long for us to build the love and life of our dreams.
Welp, I found him and everything was progressing rather quickly! So why was I still looking around shocked that everything I spoke over my life was literally manifesting itself before my very eyes? Uhhh….cause it was me! I was used to celebrating love for everyone else BUT me.
Once again I prayed, ” Lord if this isn’t the one for me, let he be moved as far as the east is from the west.” That was one heavy hitting prayer! It was known to make people go ghost seconds after I said AMEN! But what do you know, Rotimi was still there taking in every new moment with me. I was over having the conversation with my friends, you know the one. Me on Monday: I met this guy! Friend: Oooo, dish! Tell me all about him! Me on Friday: Nevermind!
Well, I replaced the need for that conversation and decided to have a little meet and greet. He didn’t realize that he would be meeting a group of my friends, my pastor, God parents, and my mother all over the course of a few weekends. It just felt right, what can I say? Everyone seemed to like him, but I’m sure people were betting to see how long he would really last. There were even some associates that just couldn’t handle my happiness and overwhelmingly obvious glow. I was completely unbothered and just wanted to focus on our love and building a life together.
This love story started in September of 2019, and in May of 2020, in the midst of a global pandemic, Rotimi and I purchased our first home! In July of 2020, Rotimi asked me to marry him while we were hiking at one of my favorite parks. In September of 2020, we committed our lives to one another in holy matrimony in a private ceremony with just the two of us and a man dressed like Elvis in Las Vegas, NV. What once felt like a dream is really my reality. There were no check boxes, no timelines, and no pressure. We truly allowed God to take the wheel and we haven’t looked back since. When two people that are ready to experience the greatest love of their lives come together, something magical happens. Never stop loving love. Never give up on finding a love that is just right for you. You must keep your heart open for love and the happiness it brings, but first and foremost, you must find that love inside of you.