For the last 3 weeks, I have had several deep conversations about love, relationships, dating in 2019, and barriers to finding love. I am very single and waiting for the right person.
😍Well scratch that, I’m not waiting. 💁🏽♀️ If I’m being totally honest with myself, I must admit that I have sabotaged some situations that could’ve been great. 👀 I have written some people off for something small, and never really given the idea of a relationship a second thought, 🤷🏽♀️and I have made myself so busy and unavailable that even the best of the best got weary. 😭
I have been known as a runner. As soon as things feel “too right,” or are going “too well,” I RUN LIKE FOREST!
I say all of that to admit that I have built the Walls of Jericho around my heart out of fear of losing someone I love. Yes, this goes back to Daddy Issues 101. After experiencing that kind of pain, I subconsciously started building walls that would leave me here as a 31 year old single woman, who deserves and desires love, but is too afraid to receive it out of fear that it will one day tragically leave me.
I give great applicable advice to friends and associates about the very love I won’t allow myself to experience. The few times that someone did make it through a crack, it led to heartbreak at the time. Now, looking back, I see the lessons I was being taught.
As I said earlier, my goals for the month of April are assessing, addressing, and adjusting mental areas in my life that are hindering me from truly living my best life. The walls must come down. I am doing the internal work to prepare myself for the blessings of love to come. It’s not easy, but what do I have to lose? Everything will be a gain and I will cherish it while I can.